7 signes d’un narcissique histrionique trop émotif

Le groupe de recherche de la Mayo Clinic définit le trouble de la personnalité narcissique (TPN) comme « un état mental dans lequel les personnes ont un sentiment exagéré de leur propre importance, un besoin profond d’attention et d’admiration excessives, des relations troublées et un manque d’empathie pour les autres. Mais derrière ce masque de confiance extrême se cache une estime de soi fragile et vulnérable à la moindre critique ».

WebMD identifie le trouble de la personnalité histrionique (HPD) comme l’un des  » troubles de la personnalité dugroupe B » ou « dramatique ». Les personnes atteintes de ces troubles ont des émotions intenses et instables et une image déformée d’elles-mêmes. L’estime de soi des personnes atteintes de ce trouble dépend de l’approbation des autres et ne découle pas d’un véritable sentiment de valeur personnelle. Elles ont un désir irrésistible d’être remarquées et se comportent souvent de manière dramatique ou inappropriée pour attirer l’attention ».

Les causes de la NPD et de la HPD sont complexes et profondes et impliquent souvent des blessures et des traumatismes subis pendant l’enfance ou le début de l’âge adulte. Dans les cas graves, il peut être nécessaire (et recommandé) de faire appel à des professionnels de la santé mentale pour diagnostiquer et traiter ces troubles.

Les symptômes du NPD et du HPD se recoupent en partie. Voici sept signes d’un narcissique histrionique hyperémotif, avec des références tirées de mes livres How to Successfully Handle Narcissists et A Practical Guide for Narcissists to Change Towards the Higher Self( Comment gérer avec succès les nar cissiques et Un guide pratique pour les narcissiques afin qu’ils évoluent vers un moi plus élevé). Alors que certaines personnes peuvent présenter occasionnellement les traits ci-dessous, ce qui ne constitue pas un problème majeur, un narcissique histrionique présentera régulièrement une ou plusieurs des pathologies (dysfonctionnements) suivantes, tout en causant une détresse et un préjudice substantiels à autrui et à lui-même.

1. Émotions dramatiques négatives (grands drames et effondrements)

Les narcissiques histrioniques ont souvent tendance à manifester des émotions négatives exagérées lorsqu’ils ne reçoivent pas l’attention, l’appréciation ou les droits qu’ils pensent mériter. Il peut s’agir d’un service client qui n’est pas rapide, d’un manque d’attention momentané de la part d’un conjoint, d’une réponse négative à une demande d' »exception à la règle » ou d’autres cas où les privilèges qu’ils s’imaginent ne sont pas respectés.

Histrionic narcissists are frequently unreasonable in their demands, inequitable in the way they treat people, insensitive to the difficulties of others, and disproportional in their emotional response. Whether it’s intense anger (narcissistic rage) or manic outbursts (histrionic drama), they often perceive a lack of attentiveness and deference as a threat to their self-esteem, and respond with hostility and even aggression. They overwhelm their victims with intense negative drama (“going nuclear”), browbeating their victims with the hope of getting what they want.

2. Dramatic “Positive” Emotions (Superficial Charm & Seduction)

The flip side of displaying overly dramatic negative emotions to gain attention is to enact superficial “positive” emotions toward the same end. Here, the histrionic narcissist may instigate charm and seduction in order “win over’ their targets (thereby controlling their attention and compliance). Examples include insincere flattery, appeal to vanity and ego, fake friendliness and acceptance, exaggerated closeness and intimacy, promising positive rewards after dishing out negative treatment, etc.

Some histrionic narcissists are adept at switching between positive and negative emotions. If they don’t get the special attention they believe they deserve by being the superficial charmer, they may suddenly change tone and become the hostile aggressor.

3. Constant Need for Attention

A main reason for the overly dramatic behavior (both negative and “positive”) of the histrionic narcissist is the insatiable desire for attention and approval. However, behind this craving for “specialness” is often a fragile self-esteem with serious attachment, trust, and security issues. In relationships and in life situations, some histrionic narcissists enact “tests” to see whether people are willing to “take the extra-step” to serve, placate, or rescue them, thus affirming their brittle self-worth.

Unfortunately, the problem with constantly seeking validation from the outside is that one will never be truly happy with oneself on the inside. For the histrionic narcissist, the temporary satisfaction from external approval never lasts, and it’s never enough.

4. Self-Absorbed Egocentrism & Lack of Empathy

Since the histrionic narcissist’s primary focus in life is approval and self-gratification, other people’s thoughts, feelings and priorities are frequently disregarded with little or no consideration (unless the histrionic narcissist has something to gain from them). One of the most striking traits of some histrionic narcissists is their ability to witness human hardship (whether in personal life or society at large), shrug it off, and express distain or even contempt if others’ difficulties interfere with their selfish plans. Such is the entitlement and conceit.

5. Boundary Violation & Manipulation

Many histrionic narcissists presume that the world revolves around them, and are quick to violate boundaries and manipulate people for personal gain. They often target individuals whom they can exploit psychologically, emotionally, physically, sexually, materially, and/or financially. Once the histrionic narcissist is done taking advantage of the victim, they may move on without a second thought. Histrionic narcissists do not relate. They use.

6. May be Unrealistic & Unreliable

Some histrionic narcissists are higher functioning, and can attain certain levels of personal and/or professional success in life (at least for a time). However, both higher and especially lower functioning histrionic narcissists may suffer from a lack of realism, which can make their decision-making impractical and impatient, resulting in disappointments and failures.

The desire for constant stimulation, instant gratification, and the tendency to be bored easily means some histrionic narcissists are unstable in their relationships, and unreliable in their commitments. Certain histrionic narcissists are prone to taking unreasonable risks, affecting their own and others’ well-being.

7. Difficulty Coping with Stress & Change

Everyone has ups and downs in life. Stress and change are part of the human experience. Many histrionic narcissists have great difficulty handling stressors which threaten their self-centeredness and perceived entitlements. Whether it’s personal relationships, workplace environment, or societal issues, histrionic narcissists adjust poorly when reminded that the world does not revolve around them, and most people will not put them on a pedestal. This is a bitter truth for histrionic narcissists, many of whom are “unable to let-up” and “unwilling to let go”.

Histrionic narcissists may experience anxiety, depression, psychosis, or other mental health issues due to their inability to adjust and adapt in an ever-changing world. Until they become more self-aware and “join the human race”, they will continue to cause significant damage to others and themselves.

For tips on how to deal with histrionic narcissists, as well as how histrionic narcissists can change for the better, see references below.

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