Signs You Need Space From Your Boyfriend (21 Vital Signs)

The statement, ‘I need space’ has become a threat to couples in the dating world. It’s been considered the beginning of the end for some couples; when one party asks for a break, it usually means they want out of the relationship. Consequently, people have become afraid of asking for space in their relationships even when they feel stressed or choked. 

Most don’t know that space in a relationship is quite normal. It’s important if you want to make your relationship stronger. It helps you grow and evolve as individuals while still enjoying each other’s companionship. 

If you’re feeling a bit smothered yet aren’t sure if you need space, below are a few signs that you need a little space from your boyfriend. 

21 Signs You Need Space From Your Boyfriend

1. You haven’t had time to spend with family and friends

It’s easy to get so sucked into your relationship that you don’t even remember other key influences in your life. No matter how loving and happy your relationship or marriage is, you’ve always got to acknowledge other figures in your life; most of them were present even before you found your partner.

Your family and close friends will always be there for you, in and out of your relationships, so spending time with them is important. If you realize that you don’t spend quality time with family and friends as much as you used to, you probably need space.

2. You’re constantly arguing about little things

you're constantly arguing about little things

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but if you realize that you’re arguing and bickering a lot more than usual, you probably need some space away from each other. 

It’s okay to have arguments once in a while but constantly bickering about the most minute things can be a sign that you need a little time alone. Arguing about issues as little as chewing noises or furniture arrangements is irrelevant to your relationship, so there’s no reason to dwell on those things. If these unnecessary details have become a big deal for you, you need some space. 

3. You care about your partner’s approval way too much

Everyone cares what their love interest thinks of them; we all want them to think we’re the best thing that happened to them. However, if your boyfriend’s perception of you affects your autonomy, then that’s a sign that you need more space away from him. 

Being in a long-term relationship can make you subconsciously lose some aspects of your personality since you and your boyfriend need to meet in the middle about many things. Especially if you live together, there are a lot of changes you need to make. 

However, you will still need to make basic decisions independently without having to consult your partner; you need some time away from him. You need to remind yourself that even if you’re in love, you’re an independent individual, and you still need to stand on your own two feet.

4. The little habits begin to annoy you

When you’re in a fresh relationship, it’s easy to love everything about your partner; their good, bad and ugly sides. Even their weird habits will seem cute to you at that point. When things get old and routine, it’s normal to get irritated by those same things. 

If you notice the annoyances are getting more frequent, it’s one of many signs you need to take some time away from each other. 

5. You’re tired of going places with him

When you’re in a new relationship, it’s normal to want to go everywhere with your boyfriend; you always want to be together. Even long-term couples enjoy each other’s company, so if going to the grocery store or on general errands causes you to start feeling trapped, you probably need to be away from each other for a while. 

Being together doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve got to be glued to your partner, but going places with them should not feel like a prison. Take some time out with yourself, so you feel free again. Perhaps, use that time to reflect and decide if you’re still interested in the relationship. 

6. You feel stressed out and exhausted

If you feel drained in your relationship, it’s going to extend to other parts of your life. Having some time to yourself in a romantic relationship is necessary; without breathing room, you will have difficulty coping. You will feel trapped, drained, and stressed out. 

You may blame your stress on work or other responsibilities, but there’s a big chance that your stress is from your relationship. Focusing on just your partner and having them in your space for long periods can become a problem if you let it. You need to have space and time for yourselves individually.

7. You feel like you’re losing yourself

you feel like you're losing yourself

It doesn’t matter how much time you spend with your boyfriend; you will never become one person. No matter how many compromises you make, you will remain separate individuals. You’ll still have your different views, perceptions, opinions, ideas, and preferences. 

If you start to feel like you’re losing your individuality, it’s because you’ve neglected your personal space and probably his too. You need to give each other space to be yourselves and maintain your personalities.

8. You’re losing the connection

A healthy relationship does not lack a good and interesting conversation. Couples love feeling understood. They like to talk and share, even though it’s just pointless banter.

If you’re having a hard time communicating, this is a sign you need some space. The moment your « I love you’s » becomes routine and meaningless, your connection is fading. Take some time out for yourself to keep the passion fresh and stay connected.

9. The physical affection starts to fade

Once the spark is out and you don’t feel like touching each other anymore, a little space could help bring back the passion. Physical affection is just as important as communication in a romantic relationship; if it’s lacking, the relationship could become stale. 

Although it’s difficult to keep that physical fire burning, especially if you’ve been together for so many years, you should still love the feel of your partner’s skin, even if it doesn’t lead to sex every time. If this is lacking, you need some space.

10. You miss your single life

It’s normal to miss parts of your single life, but if you find yourself missing your single days way too much, you probably need some breathing room. When you feel choked or smothered in your relationship, you will have escapist thoughts and thoughts of breaking free. This is a sign that you need more space; you’ve had too much togetherness. 

If you’re daydreaming about being single again, you don’t love your time there. Not every moment with your boyfriend will feel like you’re walking on sunshine, but having escapist thoughts is extreme and a major sign that you need lots more space in your relationship.

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11. You can’t recognize yourself anymore

If you’re just not feeling like yourself, you’re irritable, mentally exhausted, and wallowing in stress, you need to take some time out for yourself. Talk with your partner and ask for some space instead of snapping at them and giving them an attitude. 

Needing space in relationships is more common than you think; your boyfriend will understand if you’re honest with him. If you’re feeling this way, chances are he’s already noticed that something is wrong, so it may be the perfect time for both of you to focus on your separate lives.

12. He takes you for granted

he takes you for granted

When you spend so much time with someone, it’s easy to get a bit careless with how you speak to them or treat them. However, there’s a clear difference between being free with a person and taking them for granted. 

Does he neglect your feelings, and forget to appreciate or acknowledge you? Perhaps it’s time to step back and do your own thing; let your boyfriend miss you.

13. You can’t remember the last time you had some alone time

If you’ve done a close search and can’t remember the last time you had a wonderful weekend to yourself, you need space. It’s healthy to spend time with your significant other, but you both need time to face your own lives. A relationship should never stop you from doing what you love; your hobbies and projects should not be neglected. 

Spending time alone helps you introspect and recharge; you will feel refreshed once you breathe. You can figure things out if there’s some kind of conflict and be alone with your thoughts too. Alone time is not just a suggestion; it’s a necessity in your relationship; you and your partner need to make it a norm.

14. You’re feeling claustrophobic

If you feel like you desperately need to breathe, it’s time to give yourself enough space. Especially if your partner is a bit clingy and loves to spend time with you constantly, they could drain you without even knowing it. You will feel like your freedom has been taken away from you, and you’re being strangled. 

This is not a good feeling at all; it’s especially not good for your mental health. You will slowly turn into a tired, grumpy, and angry person. If you want to continue building a strong relationship, you need to explain to your partner that you need space to breathe.

15. You keep chasing him

If, for some reason, you constantly find yourself on the pursuing end, it’s a sign that you need space in your relationship. He cancels dates or doesn’t contact you for days and always seems to have a good reason when you talk to him about it. This is a bad thing and could qualify as a red flag, but if it’s just a phase for your boyfriend, you need space. 

If he’s bored of the relationship, you cannot do much about that. You need to spend less time chasing him around and more time with yourself. Perhaps when he sees less of you around, he’ll realize how valuable you are.

16. You annoy each other

you annoy each other

If you’re constantly annoyed by your partner and don’t enjoy being around them anymore, this is one of the signs you need space in your relationship. At the honeymoon phase, some quirky habits your partner has may seem cute to you; you may even laugh about it together. However, spending too much time together could turn those cute quirks into nightmares.

Relationships have a better chance of survival when couples give each other enough space; they don’t have to spend so much time together because they’re dating, they may start feeling irritable. 

17. You’re co-dependent

It’s great to have someone to lean on, but codependency can be harmful when it’s excessive. Spending time with your partner isn’t a bad thing, but you may have something to worry about when you realize that you can’t make decisions without the other person validating those choices. 

When you’ve been with your boyfriend for a couple of years, it’s hard to tell how much space you’ve had apart. You may get used to him helping you make choices and get other things done. It may seem wonderful at first until you realize you still have to function as individuals out in the world. If you lose your individuality, you’ll have nothing to offer as a person.

18. You’re just plain bored

You may love your boyfriend to bits, but for some reason, you’re just really bored of the relationship. You’re stuck in the same routine, and it’s starting to tell on you. 

You’re sick and tired of doing the usual romantic dates once a week and some Netflix and chill dates every other day; you need something new. Don’t panic! This does not mean that your relationship is over; you just need to take a little time out for yourself. Try to put a good amount of space between you and your boyfriend so that the spark can be reignited again. 

19. You are starting to neglect your personal needs

When you’re so into the relationship that you start to neglect yourself and the interests you used to have before you became a couple, you need some space. 

It’s okay to dote over your partner and give him as much attention as you’d love to receive but to lose yourself to that is unhealthy. Give yourself enough space to breathe and recharge. You need to give yourself as much attention as you give your partner and keep doing the things that made you. 

20. He knows you too much

There’s nothing wrong with having a partner who knows and understands you. However, if it’s beginning to feel like your minds are melding, you probably need some alone time. 

He knows where you are at all times, even without asking; he completes your sentences almost every time and already knows what you want for lunch without asking. It may feel great at first but could become stale and boring after a while. Give yourself some space. 

21. He adjusts his schedule without informing you

he adjust his schedule without informing you

Suppose you aren’t the only one who feels trapped in your relationship; perhaps your boyfriend also craves some personal space. If he has adjusted his schedule without letting you know, he’s probably realized how much space he needs for himself.

In this case, step back and give him the space he needs; you probably need it too. Don’t pick a fight or feel bad about it; he probably just wanted a breather without having to hurt your feelings. Take advantage of that space and allow yourself to feel free.


Is it normal to need space in relationships?

Yes, having some personal space in your relationship is not a bad thing. You may wonder how much space is too much and when it’s just enough to keep the relationship going. Having personal space in your relationship simply means maintaining your individuality, not isolating your partner. 

How long is space needed in a relationship?

First, ask your partner to explain what space means; this is the bigger problem. Ask if he means no communication for a few days or just a few hours to focus on a hobby or project. Depending on their explanation, space should be long enough to help you recharge, like a weekend, and short enough to let you see each other.

Does space help a broken relationship?

Yes, space can help mend a broken relationship depending on what caused the challenge in the first place. If you’re arguing about little things or you notice that you’re smothering each other, space may be exactly what your relationship needs. However, if there’s a bigger problem, space may not be the solution.

Does giving space mean no contact?

It all depends on the agreement you have with your partner. If things are so bad that you don’t feel like seeing each other for a while, then perhaps no contact is appropriate in that situation. On the other hand, if your partner asks for space without contact indefinitely without an explanation, he may be hinting at a breakup.

Does space mean to break up?

Some people can’t directly say they want to end things with you but rather keep things subtle and ask for a break. Space in a relationship is quite normal. Deciding to take some time out to go on a trip without your spouse doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed.

In Conclusion

I hope this article was helpful. Remember, even though you’re in a relationship, you still need to maintain your individuality, so don’t feel guilty for asking for some space. Please leave your comments on this topic below, and remember to share the write-up with friends. 

Utilize this tool to verify if he’s truly who he claims to be
Whether you’re married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he’s texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.