80 Funny Birthday Wishes For All Your Favorite People

When you want to wish the people you love a

happy birthday

, there’s nothing quite like the gift of laughter. Whether you are writing out a card, sending a text, or sharing a post on social media, funny birthday wishes for your favorite people are sure to bring a smile on their special day.

Ready to make your favorite people laugh out loud? Don’t know what to say to your

best friend

, family, or coworkers? Or feel bad about a late message? Browse this collection of funny birthday wishes for celebration inspiration.

Short And Funny Birthday Wishes

• Happy birthday to an oldie, but goodie!
• In dog years you’re … oh, never mind.
• Bottoms up, birthday (girl/guy)!
• Don’t let your old age get you down…it’s way too hard to get back up these days!
• Happy birthday to someone who still isn’t showing their age!
• You’re just a like a phone…
  
  
  you upgrade each year!
• Happy birthday to one in a melon!
• It’s better to be over the hill than under it!
  
  

• Happy birthday! I think it’s great you used to be so young.
• If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would totally pee on you!
• Happy Womb Emigration Day!
• Have such a grate birthday. I hope that it’s not too cheesy.
• What do you sing to a cow on its birthday? Happy birthday to moo!
• Older? Definitely. Wiser? The jury is out.
• What does every birthday party end with? The letter Y.
• Smart, good looking, and funny! But enough about me. Happy birthday!
• Happy birthday! A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.
  
  

Funny Birthday Wishes For Your Best Friend

• I can’t figure out if life is passing us by or trying to run us over. Happy birthday!
• May your social media pages be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
• If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas. Happy birthday!
• I regret to inform you that your childhood has now expired.
• I didn’t forget your birthday, I just wanted to make it last longer, of course!
• When did our wild oats turn into shredded wheat?
• Friends are like fine wine; they only get better with age and a few more wild stories!

• Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
• They say take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say take it with a full rim of salt on a very large margarita.
• Congrats on getting one year closer to that senior citizen discount!
• Happy birthday to someone who still isn’t showing their age…and certainly not acting it.
• Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest.
• Everyone gets to be young once. Today it’s official, your turn is over.
• I’d give you my last French fry. That’s really saying something! Happy birthday!
• Happy birthday! So glad you were born.

Funny Birthday Wishes For Your Co-Worker

• You’re not old. You’re chronologically gifted.
• There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
  
  
• You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
• Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
• We’re both getting old, but why keep track. Happy birthday!

• So many candles, so little cake!
• You’re as old as you are brilliant, which is both good news and bad.
• Every day we celebrate you… but today, you get a card.
• Happy National (Co-Worker’s Name) Day!
  
  
• Is it hot in here? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!
• Congratulations on leveling up… err – happy birthday!
  
  

Funny Birthday Wishes For Family

• Age is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!
• You know you are getting old when people call at 9 p.m. and ask, « Did I wake you up? »
• Happy Birthday to a (mom/dad) who is smart, funny, and good-looking, from a (daughter/son) who inherited all your best qualities.
• I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now. You’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
• May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.
• Happy anniversary of the day you escaped Mom’s womb!

• The worst thing about growing old is listening to your children’s advice.
• I’m really glad you were born today. My life would be so boring without you there to watch.
• I remembered your birthday without Facebook! Go me!
• Happy birthday from your favorite child!
• Happy birthday to Mom and Dad’s second favorite (son/daughter)!
• Happy birthday, (Mom/Dad)! And thank you for the genetics that gave me these good looks.
• Happy birthday to my (son/daughter), who is smart, kind, funny … and reminds me a lot of myself.
• Happy birthday to a (daughter/son) who has the best (mom/dad) in the world.
• I was planning on getting you something amazing and memorable for your birthday, but then I remembered that you already have me in your life.
  
  

Funny Birthday Wishes About Getting Older

• They say life is short, so smile while you still have teeth.
• Great news—you’re still alive! Happy birthday!
• You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct!
• Don’t think of it as turning (insert age). We’re here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your (age minus 10)th birthday.
• Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
• A real friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.

• A birthday reminder: Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. Happy birthday!
• Happy birthday! Stay golden, girl!
• You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct!
• Birthdays are a lot like playing golf: It’s a lot more fun if you don’t keep count.
• (Insert age)?! I demand a recount!
• Happy birthday! And seriously who would want to be 17 again?
• It’s okay to light the candles on your birthday cake. I’ve already alerted the fire department.
• If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them.
  
  

Belated Birthday Wishes

• Don’t feel deflated that I’m a little belated. Happy birthday!
• Happy birth week! Those are a thing, right?
• They say wine gets better with age, let’s hope they say the same about birthday wishes.
• You forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy birthday!
• This year I’m celebrating your birth month instead of your birth day. So happy birth month to you!
• You can never just celebrate your birthday on one day, that’s why I waited until now to send this card.
• You’ll never guess what I just remembered … happy belated birthday!
• They said patience comes with age…so thanks for waiting for my belated birthday wish!
• You’re so special that I couldn’t fit all your birthday wishes into one day. Happy belated birthday!
• This card isn’t late. I am drawing out your birthday celebration as long as possible.

• I know I missed your birthday, but is there any cake left? Happy birthday!
• Fashionably late is in style, right? Happy belated birthday!
• This card is actually late on purpose. Now it’s your birthday for the whole month!
• It’s a birthday month, right? Sorry, I missed your big day!
• This birthday card is definitely not late. I’m just extending the celebration.
• Someone has to keep the party going. I’m taking one for the team. You’re welcome. Happy belated birthday!
• I know I’m late, but if I had punctuality on top of all my other qualities, it wouldn’t be fair to everyone else. Happy belated birthday!