Le mariage n’est pas toujours une affaire de lait et de miel.
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Même les couples Disney connaissent des hauts et des bas, et la vie réelle n’est pas différente.
Il peut cependant arriver que vous ayez l’impression que quelque chose ne va pas du tout.
Peut-être que tout d’un coup, il a commencé à rentrer tard à la maison et que, sans crier gare, il a aussi changé de look ?
Peut-être fait-il de son mieux pour vous éviter ? Il part tôt le matin pour rentrer tard le soir, en prétextant une excuse bidon pour dire qu’il a trop de travail ?
Avez-vous toujours été la meilleure pour lui, mais maintenant il semble que la seule chose qu’il fait est de vous comparer à d’autres femmes ?
Ce sont autant de signes qu’il pourrait être attiré par une autre femme.
Votre cœur est vide maintenant et vous vous sentez si triste. L’attirance ne signifie pas nécessairement qu’il vous trompe.
Peut-être pouvez-vous encore travailler à sauver votre mariage, mais comment trouver la vérité ?
Si vous voulez savoir s’il vous trompe ou non, je vous recommande d’utiliser un outil de vérification des antécédents comme celui-ci (cliquez sur le lien pour aller sur leur site).
Il suffit de saisir ses coordonnées pour savoir s’il est présent sur des sites de rencontre en ligne, combien de temps il passe sur Facebook et avec qui il a pu discuter.
Il peut être gênant de prendre des nouvelles de la personne que l’on aime et à qui l’on fait confiance de tout son cœur.
Pourtant, de nombreuses femmes ont découvert que leur mari les trompait de cette manière.
Espérons que ce n’est pas votre cas.
Il suffit de saisir son nom et son lieu de résidence dans l’outil de vérification des antécédents pour l’exclure.
Je suppose que ce n’est pas votre cas, alors lisez la suite pour découvrir quelques signes qu’il pourrait être attiré par une autre femme et ce que vous pouvez faire pour le reconquérir en un rien de temps.
Table of Contents
Signes que votre mari est attiré par une autre femme
1. Il vous évite
Aucun homme ne change du tout au tout. C’est un processus graduel. S’il est attiré par une autre femme, il essaie de vous éviter autant que possible. Il ne veut pas que vous voyiez son journal d’appels, c’est pourquoi il l’efface. Si vous êtes du genre à consulter son téléphone sans contrainte, il commence à s’offusquer lorsque vous le consultez et évite même de vous appeler lorsqu’il reste dehors plus tard que d’habitude.
2. Il devient un homme avec beaucoup de secrets
Il est normal que les couples mariés partagent leurs moindres secrets, mais si votre mari se cache de vous pour recevoir ses messages ou répondre à ses textos, c’est qu’il y a une autre femme dans le tableau. Ces hommes ont du mal à tenir leurs promesses. En fait, à la moindre provocation, ils transforment les conversations en disputes.
3. Il commence à vous comparer
Il ne vous a peut-être jamais comparée à qui que ce soit, mais dès qu’il le fait, il est déjà attiré par une autre femme. Je ne peux comparer un ami à une autre personne que parce que j’ai pris le temps d’étudier l’autre personne. Pour lui, plus il est attiré, plus il remarque des choses qui lui sont propres. Il commence à vous voir comme elle et s’il reprend conscience, il perd la possibilité de comparer. Si certains font leur comparaison avec élégance, d’autres n’hésitent pas à le dire. Il semble ne pas vouloir cacher sa relation, mais en réalité, il essaie de vous en dissuader au cas où vous commenceriez à vous en rendre compte.
4. Son apparence devient inhabituelle
Le mari que vous connaissez n’a jamais porté de marque autre que Calvin Klein, mais il porte désormais Ocean Pacific. Il s’est fait couper les cheveux et s’efforce davantage d’être impressionnant. Certains diront : « On peut décider de changer d’apparence à tout moment ». Bien sûr, oui ! Mais comprenez que le sens vestimentaire d’une personne ne change pas du jour au lendemain, sauf si le changement est déclenché par un facteur important.
5. He gets easily offended
Now, this part is usually the obvious part of a change in attitude. He sees a reason to get offended at the way you talk, the way you look, your sitting position and other similar things. He gets so irritated that you begin to wonder if you changed overnight.
6. He reduces the time he spends with you
Be careful when your husband reduces the time he spends with you for no reason or a flimsy reason. The man who wants to be with you at all times now tells you he has a meeting, he needs to look through some files, or he needs to rest.
Relationships are different and the way married couples relate vary. However, one or more of these signs will surely be noticed.
As previously stated, there is a difference between feeling and knowing. You can be sure if he exhibits the signs above. However, there is a room to give the benefit of a doubt.
Why Should I Give The Benefit Of A Doubt?
Marriage is delicate and should be treated as such. You cherish your marriage so much that you do not want to end up being a single mom. Understand that you are a woman and you have the natural ability to make things better or worse.
One reason why you should give your husband the benefit of doubt is to avoid escalating matters or to prevent negative accusations.
During this period, request for some time alone to discus. Tell him how you have been feeling and ask if you had previously offended him. He would either give excuses or deny his change of attitude.
If he continues the act or gets worse, then you can be sure that he is truly attracted to another woman. If you aren’t smart enough, you may lose your husband.
Why Is He Attracted?
You might want to decipher why he is not satisfied with you. Well, you need to know that being attracted to other people is natural. It becomes unnatural if the attraction is leading towards intimacy.
There is no actual reason why married men get attracted to other women. What one man likes may be different from what the other likes. In spite, some things are common amongst many and that is Your Attitude.
While some men are just covetous, others try to escape continuous issues with their wives and they end up getting attracted to another woman especially if the woman is there for them at that particular time of need.
To you, you may be perfect and without blemish, but to him, the woman who was once there for him is no longer there. I am not saying that getting attracted to a woman outside your home is right and justifiable, I am only saying that your actions might have pushed him out.
What if he wants to talk to you and you act tired and probably forget to ask him when you are free, what if he is having issues with his work and he finds it difficult to share his pains with you because you are always concerned about yourself? What if you suddenly become unreliable?
These are questions you should ask yourself and see if you are with or without blame. An old friend once told me that he filed for a divorce because his family members did not approve his wife since she was discourteous.
I wanted to take sides but her attitude when I visited them gave me no reasons to take her sides. They are happily divorced.
Before you say all sort concerning him, endeavor to picture your previous attitudes to him. You can even tell a male friend about the things you do that can put a man off. If he is sincere enough, he will tell whether the act is good or not.
How attractive is your physical appearance? Are you still the girl he fell in love with? Do you still possess those charms or you have allowed in excuses of childbirth?
Understand that, men get easily attracted to what they see. They function more with physical appearance. Now look at yourself and grade your look before and after marriage. Deep down in your heart, you may opine that he should have told you but he probably does not want to sound bad or he just lost interest in correcting you about it.
How about your sexual life? You may disagree but men are sexually selfish. They want to have access to their wives whenever they feel the urge but when you resist every time, you are actually ousting them.
When they see another woman who gives them little time, they begin to visualize being intimate with her. Look out for the things you do that you stopped doing. Those things, which seem unnecessary to you may mean the world to your husband.
Try to remember if he has ever complained about anything or if he has ever asked to know why you stopped doing something you previously enjoyed doing.
When you sort this out then you are a step to ending your husband’s relationship with the other woman. However, if you think you have remained in the best shape, then you know you have more work to do.
Check Esther Perel’s comment on why he is attracted to another woman
What To Do?
The way a man handles a situation is quite different from the way a woman handles issues. Men tend to compartmentalize how they feel. They can easily separate their work from home and separate their normal relationship from a romantic one
Unlike women, women tend to juggle things together. A man will hardly make his emotional issues affect his work while a woman finds it natural to evoke emotions in what she does.
Just as he separates work from home, he can separate you from the other woman. So, one thing you must never do is to make things hard. If you bring it on in the hard way, he will bring it closer in the harder way. In fact, you give him the more reason to run away.
Check Brad Browning’s video on how your attitudes can cause more havoc.
In getting your man back, never make an angry woman. I cannot say you should not be angry but when you keep in your anger, you have more time to think through the matter. If you think you should react to show how hurt you are, you will be so wrong.
Also, never go ahead to fight the other woman. Even if you trace her to get an evidence, do not stoop so low to be physical with her. It’s either you do not bother trying to know her or pretend like she does not exist.
There is only one way to get back your husband and in that one way lies every other thing you should do.
Reconnecting
In terms of reconnecting, I do not mean you should uproot the other woman unskilfully. Now, the other woman is none of your concern. Your focus is your husband and your marriage. If you can settle that, the services of the other woman will no longer be required.
Get your husband’s attention. Yes, your relationship has strained to the extent that he has no time for you. This is yours to work out. You can set the table for a special dinner.
When you get his attention, never hesitate to say your mind. Do not sound attacking or desperate. Let an iota of plea reflect. Let him see how much you value the relationship, remind him of how much you have built together and feed on what you both can achieve without hindrance.
Communicate with him without fighting.
At this point, he will regain his conscience and let out his guilt. If your attitude pushed him out, he wouldn’t hesitate to speak at this stage. You can ask him to tell you about the other woman as well as the extent of their relationship.
Get to know the reasons behind his actions and intentions as that will help you into becoming a better woman.
Now, the fact that you have been able to crack your husband does not mean that you have gotten him. Look through what he had pointed out and begin to work towards it. If he had complained about your dress sense, have a change of wardrobe
If he complained about the way you cater more for your work than your home, try to work towards getting home as soon as you can to be available for him. Ensure that you take to corrections. Let him see the changes. It reconnects you to him.
What about the other woman?
Whether your husband tells you that he had a sexual relationship with the woman he is attracted to or he hasn’t, it does not change the fact that there is another woman in the picture.
Getting your husband to cease communications with this woman will require patience and trick. He may tell you that he would no longer have an affair with her but continuous communication with her may expatiate things.
Talk to him about it and let him see reasons why he should.
One reason why most women end up being regretful of everything is their approach towards the matter. Now, you need to know that people have the sole right to make their own decisions. You don’t want lose your husband, Yes! But you must give him a chance to decide.
This step must be done if he seems not to change totally or if he is still keeping in contact with her and that is Ultimatum step.
As earlier said, do not get mad at your husband. That attitude gives your words the right effect.
Check out the perfect timing to provide him with an ultimatum. The perfect time is when it seems like you have gotten him back.
Afterwards, deliver the ultimatum. This should not be done by calling and yelling on phone. When you do that, you end up not saying what you intended to say and your husband ends up not listening to you. The best way to deliver this ultimatum is through a written expression.
This written expression should contain;
- How you felt when he confirmed that he was truly attracted to the other woman. Express your feeling in the first person- ‘I was in pains’ and not ‘You made me feel pains.’
- Let him know how much you love him and how much you are willing to heal up and live like never happened.
- If your wedding vows mean so much to you, you should reiterate every single word.
- Write a list of what you cannot live with, in the marriage. One is a continuous contact with the other woman. Try not to sound authoritative and imposing. Let him see the need to make that decision
- State how you can continue to live being married to him. Something like ‘I want to live the rest of my life with you but I cannot do so if there is the other woman in the picture’
- Tell him to make his decision and act on what seems best for him.
You know you have done your part by trying to make things better between the both of you. It is up to him to make that decision. You should lay your hands on ‘Not Just friends’ by Shirley Glass. The book will help you in making good decisions and how you should live after the decision.
FAQs
One of the easiest ways to tell if your husband is interested in another woman is the amount of attention he gives. If a man provides another woman with a lot of attention, being overly affectionate with the person or acting differently with someone when you’re around, it might be a significant red flag.
As much as possible, try to cut off his contact with the woman he’s in love with. Tolerating the presence of a mistress will affect your marriage since he’ll start comparing both of you and giving you less attention. Another thing to do is to hide your weak point and never make him feel like you can’t do without him. Once he realizes this, he’s bound to carry on the relationship with both you and his mistress.
Married people can have crushes on people who aren’t their spouses; they’re human and still have feelings even after vows have been exchanged. Crushes are harmless when they’re not acted upon; thus, they don’t mean your marriage is on the verge of ending. Also, having a crush doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love anymore.
Telltale Signs that your husband has another person of interest in their life include;
– They withdraw from you emotionally and become more secretive with a lot of things.
– They aren’t as affectionate and thoughtful as they used to be.
– There’s one person they talk about consistently, whether seriously or casually.
A husband shows his love in varying ways, especially when he’s still attracted to you. Husbands often confide in those they’re attracted to, and they also can’t keep their eyes off you even as you wash dishes or do the laundry. He’ll show you off and surprise you ever so often.
Conclusion
Marriage is not a relationship with the ‘on and off pattern’. It is either on or off. Before you take these steps, ensure you confirm your feelings by knowing. Much more, understand that it is natural to be attracted to another woman but the moment it begins to affect your marriage, you need to intervene.
Don’t force anything but make efforts towards restoration. Do not hesitate to drop your questions in the comment session.
Love is a tough one but you can make it easy when you Rise to Fight For what you Believe in.